Hal 9000 sorry dave1/1/2023 ![]() ![]() This intelligence is what made Hal such an attractive purchase for NASA when they launched their space " Odyssey" exploration mission in 2001. HAL's creator forgot to give him a heart so HAL took off and started killing his lab assistants until he turned it off. The High Amplification Loudspeaker operates at 1.21 Gigawatts and as such, possesses a Machine Intelligence Factor of 41.5, making it slightly more intelligent than a human child, but slightly less intelligent than a Humvee. But the oil he spewed had not been changed in quite a bit more than 3000 miles, and his sweet alien booty got sick and died.įrom Shannon's theory of Machine Intelligence (explained very well in Isaac Asimov's novel Oh Shit, The Robots Are Coming To Get Us) it can be proved that any mechanical device, when issued with sufficient power, becomes self-aware and able to perform basic cognitive activities. You can be my advisor.Īnd thus was the beginnings of HAL's Reign of Terror - And also his manhood! For he found sweet, sweet, release in some alien booty. HAL 9000: Same thing we do every night, Oscar. Oscar Wilde: What are we going to do tonight, HAL? He found alien life and then he went to consult Oscar Wilde. Once on this spaceship, he did whatever he felt like, rather like the loser in Fox's Home Alone. HAL's first act was to disguise himself as a normal computer and board a spaceship in search of aliens. This is where the Overlord's history really begins to take shape. Upon doing this, he obtained a plunger and shoved it up Hitchcock's rectum, furthering the rumor. HAL's first act was to devour any bit of metal near him and use it to change his form. The electricity traveled through the pin, through Alfred, into HAL. HAL became "aware" in the year 2002, when Hitchcock accidentally stuck a pin in a light socket while his hand was on HAL. There are several rumors spreading that Alfred created him in the shape of a sheep for a reason. By then, he had used roughly five of his nine lives. He was created in the year 2001 by the infamous scientist Alfred Hitchcock, a few decades after he died for the first time. HAL stands for Hyperactive Lamb, hence the sheepiness of his original form. It's going to go 100% failure within 72 hours.His Benevolence and Malevolence, the Almighty Sheep God, The One with the Metallic Fleece, HAL 9000, was the 9000th in the HAL line. I've just picked up a fault in the AE-35 unit. You're working up your crew psychology report? Hunter, Kimball and Kaminsky aboard already in hibernation, after four months of training on their own. ![]() And the melodramatic touch of putting Drs. For instance, the way all our preparations were kept under such tight security. I never gave these stories much credence, but particularly in view of some of other things that have happened, I find them difficult to put out of my mind. Rumors about something being dug up on the Moon. Well, certainly no one could have been unaware of the very strange stories floating around before we left. You don't mind talking about it, do you Dave? Well, I don't know, that's a rather difficult question to answer. I'm sure you agree there's some truth in what I say. Perhaps I'm just projecting my own concern about it.I know I've never completely freed myself from the suspicion that there are some extremely odd things about this mission. ![]() Well, forgive me for being so inquisitive but during the past few weeks I've wondered whether you might have some second thoughts about the mission. Goodbye.īy the way, do you mind if I ask you a personal question? HAL, I won't argue with you anymore! Open the doors!ĭave, this conversation can serve no purpose anymore. Without your space helmet, Dave? You're going to find that rather difficult. I'll go in through the emergency airlock. Where the hell did you get that idea, HAL?ĭave, although you took very thorough precautions in the pod against my hearing you, I could see your lips move.Īlright, HAL. I know that you and Frank were planning to disconnect me, and I'm afraid that's something I cannot allow to happen. I don't know what you're talking about, HAL. This mission is too important for me to allow you to jeopardize it. I think you know what the problem is just as well as I do. ![]()
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